November 24, 2010

I still don't know my right from my left!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Those of you who know me understand that even though the end of this month should be the happiest moment as I will put chemo behind me with my last round, it is sadly the end of the best 30 days of each year - birthday month.   I have attached a photo from the first day of the month (since I never could tell my right from my left I guess I can't blame it on the chemo). 

In addition to gearing up for the end of chemo I have finally assembled the dream team for my next phase.  I have scheduled surgery and reconstruction for the first week in January and will report more on that later.  We are looking forward to getting up to Jackson for the holidays and hope it keeps snowing that cowboy powder.

I am often accused of never finding a club I didn't want to join and quickly become chairperson of its board of directors.  Well this year I found a club I didn't want to join, but I am looking forward to a very long term life membership.  More importantly I want to take the time this Thanksgiving to tell you about a club I can never join.  That club is the one each of you have been members of for quite some time but had to really pay your dues these last five months.  That club is the family and friends of Jill.  Without you we would not be dealing with this nearly as well as we are.  I fear I have forgotten one or more of your contributions, but I especially want to GIVE THANKS for:

Sending cards

Bringing dinner for chemo weeks

Sending gifts from my favorite place on this beautiful planet

Sending flowers

Walking Cody, even when he refused to move from the top of the stairs

Offering a prime spot in the driveway for Andie's Prius on Lab days

Delivering spontaneous bountiful baskets filled from the farmer's market

Supporting me with loving emails

Making the best soups

Giving me the recipe for the best soup

Giving me the most amazing lavender scented microwavable heating pad

Offering me your special birthday grasshopper pie as I crash your celebration

Showing up with an old favorite bottle of wine

Allowing Ella to show her skills as  a mothers' helper

Giving us the perfect person to help with the girls and the house

Allowing me the opportunity to forget to pay you on time or write a check for the wrong amount

Getting my husband drunk

Outfitting my family with warm socks

Knitting me beanies

Calling me on your way to Gelsons to see if I need anything

Calling me on your way to Ralphs, see above!

Loaning me your best Hermes scarves

Taking the time out of your trip to LA from London to catch up with our parallel journey

Making work accommodations for Steve by taking red eyes to NY

Organizing the perfect website for helping hands

Driving to and from chemo and hydration appointments

Hanging out in the chemo cubicle keeping me from freezing her fingers and toes off

Walking or running for the cause in my honor

Adding my name to your prayer list

Taking us to dinner at that perfect Italian restaurant

Showing me I still have a lot to learn to be truly organized

Being patient, not taking no for an answer and finding a way to lift my spirits

Ensuring that Ella and Andie have just enough Halloween treats (or was that Steve?)

Giving me my own  “path to full recovery” sign that rests at the top of the stairs I climb first thing each morning

Providing a safe haven for Andie or Ella to escape Dad trying to be Mom

Getting Ella to the bus when Steve had to be in New York

Hosting Steve and me at your new idyllic getaway less than a 2 hour drive away

Throwing a turnkey pot luck at my house with my “5th grade Moms”

Hosting me and my nearest and dearest for birthday lunch

Covering for me at board and committee meetings

Allowing me to come out as a bald person at your daughter's bat mitzvah

Loaning me 10 carat diamonds for my opera/symphony opening gala

Making a donation in my honor

Dropping off the best batch of chick flicks

Letting your children revel in my bald head

Offering your sage wisdom because you’ve been  there

Being there at the low point, deciphering my path report and keeping Steve from sounding like a fool when he speaks to my doctors

Supporting me from foreign countries: the UK, France, Wyoming!

Letting me cop a feel of your new gummy bear breasts

Updating everyone who we couldn't get to directly

Bringing me “good” magazines

Loaning me your favorite books

Having us to your home weekend after weekend for dinner

Friending me on Facebook

Having dinner just arrive unscheduled

Bringing new meaning to being my doubles partner

Brownies, brownies and more brownies

Being there when I am low

Knowing when I am low

Giving me an excuse to enter Savannah

Helping me understand how close cousins can be— on both sides!

Supporting my fundraisers because I can’t say no to my favorite charities

Keeping Steve company at the hospital

Loving us unconditionally

Happy Thanksgiving!

October 31, 2010

It's Been 3 Months, But Who's Counting?

IIt has been just over 3 months since my lumpectomy and we are becoming veterans of this cancer thing.  We have learned to call “schedulers” not receptionists, to email nurses not call them, and to work our way around in-network and out-of-network doctors.  What we haven’t learned is patience in certain doctors’ offices.  On three separate occasions in the last 2 weeks we were kept waiting for an hour and 45 minutes to see doctors.  For me, it’s not so bad, what else do I have to do?  But, Steve takes time away from work and clients to sit there and wait with me.  Two of the appointments were successful.  We met the Radiation Oncologist, liked her very much and she must have apologized 72 times for keeping us waiting but she had to deal with an emergency.  We met the in-network surgeon who will do my double mastectomy.  He didn’t apologize for keeping us waiting, but we liked what he had to say, plus we  had met anonymously over drinks 2 weeks earlier while watching Stanford stuff USC, so there was a fraternity of friends going on.  We never met the third doctor.  She was “in the building” but kept us waiting so long we were in danger of missing Ella’s birthday dinner.  So we just got up and left.  I called American Express on the way home to reverse any charges on my card, since the doctor’s office had charged me before the appointment.  The doctor did call my oncologist to apologize for the mess, but never called me!  Hmmm!

The Birthday Boy Celebrates 39, Again!

Doctors and lack of patience, notwithstanding, we had two fabulous birthday celebrations this month!  Steve turned 39 again, and Ella is now 12!  For Steve, we had a family dinner at home complete with cupcakes.  For once, we get a present that he could really use  -- we had hands free installed in the mini Cooper.  Now we are so glad he had a “mini mid life crisis” five years ago and bought that car and the Prius.   Andie has absconded with the Prius so now Steve can be safe talking on the phone with a stick shift!!

Our 12 year old!

Fashion Plate!

America's Next Top Model!

Ella’s birthday was wonderful.  Steve had planned to take her to a K’Naan concert (don’t ask me!), only to find out the day of (by accident) that it had been cancelled.  So at the veritable last minute he found general admissions tickets to Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros (them, I’ve heard of, and you can check them out here  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qb9jY8yAxgs )  They went to dinner and the concert and it was great!  Ella even saw one of her teachers there on a school night!  For her birthday, we went to one of her favorite restaurants and then home for presents.  Check out the photos!    For her party, we hosted 7 girls for sushi and a sleepover (sleepless over?).  It was really one of the best birthdays I can remember.  Really fun, really sweet girls! Yippee!

This last recovery period hit harder than the usual.  I think the cumulative effect kicked in.  We had been invited up to Montecito to see our friends’ beautiful new house the weekend after chemo.  It was really iffy on whether or not I would make it but the lure of an incredible wine cellar, ocean view and great friends was much stronger than the chemo ache, so we went and it had an incredibly positive effect on my recovery.  I think they should invite us every weekend.

Earlier this month we went to the  opening  of the LA Phil with Gustavo Dudamel.  A dear friend who owns a jewelry store lent me 10 carat diamond drop earrings, a necklace and cocktail ring.  I thought it was the perfect ensemble with my black beanie!!! You can check it out yourselves by following this link and scrolling way down to see a photo of me and Steve  http://www.nysocialdiary.com/node/1904242


We are having a mini-Canyon elementary II reunion tonight for Halloween.  We will gather at a street below us in the canyon that actually has sidewalks, have dinner at a friends’ house and then start the trick or treating with the old gang from Ella’s class!  Andie is threatening to be too old for Halloween and stay home with Cody.

I have one heck of a week planned before the 5th chemo!

One last thought.  Steve and I really want again to thank our friends Wendy Wintrob and Susan Harris who set up the lotsahelpinghands website.  That has been a godsend for organizing meals and rides and nanny searches, etc.  I know Wendy gave up a couple of days of her vacation on Sea Island to get it up and running.  If you ever find yourself in a similar situation I heartily suggest you use lotsahelpinghands, even if you are not as fortunate as we are to have Wendy and Susan to organize it!!!

October 19, 2010

Here’s to having more on the 

Done side than the To Do side!

It’s been exactly 3 weeks since my last update.  I am waiting now for Laurie to drive me to Chemo #4.  We were so excited to hit the halfway mark last month, but I have to say the three weeks of waiting for number 4 seemed like a plateau.  I am very glad to have more on the “done” side than on the “to do” side after today!

I am still feeling pretty good.  That first week is slow and I am really impatient at my lack of energy.  Then we hit the next Tuesday and I’m me again.  I have added physical therapy to my regimen to work on the lymph nodes in my right arm.  It’s not Lymphedema, as originally reported, just the beginning of axillary cording which we don’t want to have happen.  I am also doing acupuncture and ayurvedic massage. I can’t tell for sure that they are helping, but I can report I missed my acupuncture last time and I felt much worst that week so..... 

The kids are really hanging in there. We just had Ella’s parent teacher conference and so far, she is having a great year.  She went out for volleyball this Fall with 6, 7 and 8th grade girls. The spirit on her team is incredible. They make up all sorts of cheers and really support each other.  The Win/Loss ratio isn’t so great, in fact, they have yet to win a game, but for this team that’s not really what it’s all about!  


Andie is trying hard to manage a challenging  11th grade year.  She has a heavy load of all AP classes, Varsity tennis and a club softball team as a rehearsal for Varsity Softball in the Spring, not to mention her Honors Research project at UCLA.   No wonder my energy flags sometimes just thinking about their schedules!!

Steve and I had a trip to Jackson scheduled for last weekend, but decided to cancel it to just try and have some high quality down time with the kids at home.  We had tickets on Allegiant air which flies from Long Beach to Idaho Falls. Their fares start at $39 round trip!  Of course, you have to then pay for a seat, over head luggage storage, and none of the seats lean back.  Oh well!

We did do one special thing this weekend. On Friday, Steve and I went to the Anderson School at UCLA for the kick-off reception to their 75th Anniversary.  It wasn’t my reunion, I’m class of ‘81, but I have tons of friends in class of ‘80 so it was great to see them.  As part of the celebration, UCLA selected 100 Inspirational Alumni from the past 100 years.  I was lucky enough to be named one of them.  Truth be told, as marketers they missed it and should have stopped at 75, but just incase I was in the 76 to 100 group, I am glad they didn’t.

A huge thank you to Laurie, Jill, Meryl, Tracy, Mary, Lisa and Betsy for driving and those yummy dinners.  Several times over the past couple of weeks the door bell rang at 5:00 and there was someone dropping off dinner!  It is amazing how many people have time to think about us while still keeping their own families running smoothly!  We thank each and every one of you!

September 29, 2010

 Halfway Through!

I am half way through my chemo treatments as of today and I find myself thinking of all of you!  I realize I couldn’t have gotten this far, nor could my family without all your thoughts, cards, emails, prayers, meals, rides and gifts.
Everyday we receive some acknowledgement of your love and support for us.  It really helps us keep going.

I want to thank my very fashionable friends, Mom and sister, who entrusted me with their Hermes scarves.  Unfortunately, it turns out Hermes scarves are way too fine and fabulous for my bald head!  I would have to use velcro or double stick tape to keep them on.  Way too heavy, high quality silk.  Of course now that I have divulged this I guess I will have to return them.  I am starting quite a collection of beanies though!  When Ella hasn’t snagged them all!
I especially love the ones knitted and crocheted by family and friends!  That bald head does get cold even in the heatwave!

I think I am on prayer lists all over the country, which is comforting.  A dear childhood friend send me a prayer quilt made by her congregation.  Each knot in it is a prayer for my for health and (yes!) patience!  My minister since I was 17 brought me a holding cross — it is a beautiful wooden cross you can hold in your hand when you prayer, kind of like a worry stone.

Our darling neighbors in Wilson, Wyoming are keeping the Wilson post office working late sending me pieces of Wyoming every week.  It was the tried sage from our own drive way that really was glorious!

The meals are amazing. I could feed the entire Rustic Canyon Monday Summer potluck with those meals (Our neighborhood gathers in our darling park Monday evenings in the Summer. It is what childhood memories are made of )

It constantly astonishes me when I pick up the phone and yet another friend says “Jill, I’ve been there.  You will get through it.”  This was the one club I never had any intention of joining (and many of you know I am a little long on clubs!) but once you are a member, you are a cherished member and realize it just may be the best, secret club anywhere — an incredible sister hood.

I have kept each and every card and am surfing the web for the perfect, large box to put them in!

I have filed all the email messages. Maybe a book is the answer- self published of course, free to all of you!

Unbelievably, even  family funeral last week was an amazing source of support.  Steve’s dear cousin, Jim Bacon died at age 96.  He lived quite the Hollywood life hanging with Marilyn and the Rat Pack as a trusted gossip reporter.  Spending the day in church, with the family – wife Doris, kids, grand kids and yes great grand kids was a wonderful solace for everyone.  The stories were amazing.  It reminded me of some crazy family funerals we’ve had in San Diego — not that I am thinking about funerals — more I am thinking about family and how important family is.

I have to share with you all how amazing Steve has been.  You may not have realized it but he does have Mr. Mom tendencies. He had to take the red eye to NYC tonight after attending Marlborough’s back to school night.  Last night he went to Wildwood’s and had to give my Annual Fund speech because I was home recovering.  He arranged for rides to get Ella to the bus in the morning and made Andie promise to get up at 6:00!    Who knew that guy with the shoulder length hair was really such an upright citizen, husband and Father  ( I guess I did!)

Last but not least, I am enclosing a picture of the second wig!  I realized my gray hair had become a signature so I gave in and got a gray one!  I haven’t actually worn it yet, but I have it just in case!  You will note I tried my best to use Ella as camouflage!!

Much love to you all!  Keep us in your thought as we do the chemo count down!

September 17, 2010

It Takes A Week!

That is the mantra I need to remember after every chemo treatment.  It takes me a week to recover.  Not 3 days, not 5 days, a week!  So would you all please remind me of that at the end of September when I go for my next treatment.  I know it seems totally out of character, but I get frustrated and impatient that I am not feeling better earlier.

Right now, I feel terrific. Oh it’s been a week and 3 days!  Amazing!  

Just to be clear. Steve has the dark hair!!!!!

Steve and I took Ella to Denver last weekend for a Eliza Stein’s Bat Mitzvah.  Eliza is the daughter of Stefan, who Steve has known since Summer Associate days at Wyman Bautzer.  (There are so many crazy memories in that last sentence!!!) Anyway, we really wanted to go and support Eliza and Steve was loathe to leave me at home.  So we hung at the Ritz Carlton Denver.  I have to say if you are taking 4 hour naps, there is no better bed to be in than that extra puffy Ritz Carlton bed.  Ella perfected the art of delivering ginger ale and lattes from the Club room.  She probably made a lot of tips making lattes for all the hotel guests while she was at it.

I know you are all desperate to hear about and see the wig.  Well, it didn’t work out so well.  I think we may have started with a bum steer, as they say.  But it will become a nice tax deductible donation to the American Cancer Society.  I am sure there is a cancer patient with a 50s style sensibility who is looking for a pouffy wig just that totally unnatural color!  Steve keeps telling me I look great in a scarf and after discounting his good reasons for exaggerating at least a little, I am thinking the scarves look pretty good.  (OK, pretty good, could be an exaggeration)  I am including a photo from the Bat mitzvah.  You all can vote!  I should set up a text number and make a little money on the side!

On the cancer front, yesterday I went to the UCLA Multidisciplinary Clinic at the Revlon Breast Center.  It is a clinic set up specifically for second opinions.  You go for the whole afternoon with all your records and the team of experts comes in to see you.  At the end they all convene together, discuss your case, and your lead advisor comes back to report their thoughts.  I had the head of the Clinic, Helena Chung, for my lead adviser.  They concurred with everything that has been done so far and with the plan of treatment as it is laid out in the future.  The only suggestion relates to whether to sandwich the surgery in before the chemo is completed.  The thought is to give my body more time after surgery prior to radiation.  I will discuss with my oncologist and see.  Knowing me, I would rather blast on through but I am really working hard on the patience thing so you never know!!

We can’t thank you enough for you cards, letters, food, emails, prayers and positive thoughts.  The support that comes from you all often brings  tears to my eyes.  It is just overwhelming to know so many people have your back and are there for you and the entire family.  We have especially appreciated the friends who have checked in with my Mom and Dad.  That  really helps to extend the circle of love and prayer that surrounds us.  Special shout outs to my drivers, Laurie and Lisa, and our dinner bringers: Lorrie, Jill B (lite), Susan and Margot!

September 7, 2010

Before

During

After, note image in mirror!

Note to self: consider tats!

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words!

So here are 4 pictures and a few words to go with them.

My folks came up for a first visit on Friday.   It was great to see them, their first time up since the diagnosis.  We played board games, sat in the sun, made chocolate chip cookies and took naps!  We had a beautiful sunset dinner at the  Bel-Air Bay Club.  Saturday was tennis day.  Everyone went to watch Andie hit!   Excellent exercise for all!  They headed home after lunch, but it was wonderful to see them.

In my last email I mentioned I was holding out shaving my head until after my folks left and I had made it to a black tie wedding on Sunday. Well, I just couldn’t hold out until the wedding!  Let’s just say when I washed my hair Saturday, we would’ve put our plumbers 6 children through college with the drain cleaning bill, if I hadn’t had the sense to call Steve to help me get the hair out of the shower!!!  Like a true gentlemen, he helped me clean it up and stayed with me until I got what was left of my hair dry.  He then went to the internet and found out Floyd’s Barbershop would be open on Sunday!

As promised, Terry Davis, he of the large stature and bald pate, accompanied us to Floyds.  The photos pretty much say it all!  I managed to look pretty pulled together for the wedding thanks to a beautiful silver and black scarf my sister sent me.  (Note, you’ll have to take my word on this one, no photo included).
I had chemo today and it went really well.  The port worked easily (no one fainted!)  Instead of 5 hours it only took 3!   Thanks to my friend Laurie McCarthy for driving me. And Steve for delivering Starbucks coffee!

Just finished a yummy dinner compliments of Susan Harris.

Thank you for all your prayers, cards, emails and calls.  We can’t get through this without you!

September 3, 2010

Always an option, Not!

One Cycle Down, Five To Go!

I am feeling pretty good, 3 weeks after the first treatment.  Of course, I start again on Tuesday!  I felt so good yesterday I went and hit with my pal and tennis pro Terry Davis for 1/2 hour.  The thing about hitting with a pro is that if you ask nicely they hit everything right back to you and you hardly have to run at all!   I must’ve played well because then I got a call from Joanne Russell (Wimbledon champion) who was feeling “rusty” and needed someone to hit with, just for 1/2 hour on Saturday.  The message was so delightful it made me tear up!  (Thank you tennis friends who passed on my news to Joanne!)  So the Champ and I are going to knock the ball around for a while Saturday!!!!

The next conundrum is hair!  It is definitely starting to come out, and I told myself I would just go and get it shaved.  In fact, my same pal Terry Davis, is my date for the barber shop!  But now we have a family portrait on Sunday and I would sure like to stretch until then!  Come on hair, hang in there!  I do get to pick up my wig on Saturday.  I have no clue what it looks like, I just trust in Sean and Jen!  So if you see a drop-dead blonde with short hair walking down Montana Avenue it could possibly be me, especially if she is walking a Bernese Mountain Dog!  Or if you just see a Berner walking a woman in a headscarf, honk and wave that’s definitely Cody taking me for  a walk!


We are so thankful for all the friends and family who send notes, emails and call.  It really helps us to keep our spirits up!