June 8, 2011

All Clear!

Sound the sirens, we got the good news yesterday that all my scans came back clear:  CT, PET and Bone Scan all clear of any signs of breast cancer!  What a relief!  We are very excited that after nearly 11 months of doctors and treatments my body is free of cancer!   Whew!

The next step is for me to begin taking Tamoxifin, a drug that interferes with estrogen production.   As adjuvant therapy (treatment given after the primary treatment to increase the chances of a cure), tamoxifen helps prevent the original breast cancer from returning and also helps prevent the development of new cancers in the other breast.  Typically a patient takes this for 5 years.   As far as check-ups, I will start by going back to see my oncologist every 2 months, and as things progress we will stretch to every 3 months and eventually every 6 months!  

So how do I feel?  Well as I have said to pretty much every health care professional who has asked me, "I am in excellent health, except for breast cancer."  Now I can just leave it at "I'm in excellent health!"  

So what's next?  I have already started trying to pass on the same words of comfort and wisdom that others passed on to me.  That is a gift in itself, looking back on the treatments, sifting through what really helped get me through, and passing that nugget on to someone else in the hope it will help them also.

I know life will be different now but I truly believe, as my friend Mary so vehemently told me, that it will be better!  My life, our lives, are already richer because of all of you.  We have been supported by the love and faith of our family and friends.  We have rekindled bonds with past friends.  And importantly, we have forged new ties with new friends.  Nothing gives me more joy than sorting through my box (both online and off) of cards, notes and letters and remembering each kindness from everyone.  


Enjoy!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIqLsGT2wbQ

May 4, 2011

I'm Done!

Ding!  It's official.  I have completed radiation which means I'm done, it's over, kaput, fini --

all those cancer treatments are finished.  I am a free woman.  


It almost didn't happen today.  I got a phone message at 8:00 from the radiation technicians saying the computer was down and to call before I  came to make sure it was working.  For a minute, I thought my kids were somehow messing with me on my last day!  Luckily, the  techs called again an hour later and said we were back in business.  Steve came with me for my last trip.  I brought mini bottles of champagne to the technicians, nurses and doctor.  You get to know people pretty well when you see them everyday for 32 days!  It is great to be done!


My final steps are to have a CT Scan and PET scan the first week in June.  Those scans will be read by my oncologist to make sure everything's really and truly gone.  There is no doubt in my mind it is.  Then, it's short term follow up visits with all the doctors for several years.


It has certainly been a long and winding road since July 14, 2010.  As I think about the key touchpoints along the way, what really stands out are the people I met.  The people who took the time to reach out to me and really touch my life and my progress.  Many were complete strangers.  Each one reached out to me and said something to give me a huge boost.   


For example, there is a homeless man who sells poems on San Vicente Blvd.   He has been there for forever.  As I pulled up to the stoplight last week he hollered over to me "Hey beautiful, I love your hair.  Do you celebrate Easter?  I have a poem for you, beautiful, no charge!"  He ran across two lanes of traffic and gave me his Easter poem.  I was wiping my eyes all the way home.  And you know what, everyone I've told that story to was touched in exactly the same way.  


There was the "contessa" coming out of my surgeon's office, tall and beautiful with incredible silver hair, leaning on a man's arm and using a silver cane.  She was leaving the waiting room but saw me sitting there as I was waiting for a pre-op meeting for my double mastectomy.  She  regally waltzed across to me and in a european accent declared "You are beautiful.  You will soon have hair just like mine.   It will be beautiful.  Go get rid of all those wispies, shave your head and you will be beautiful.  Come give me a hug."


There was my gardener who brought me special coffee with cancer curing ingredients.  Or even the valet parkers who put my car front and center everyday I went to radiation.


The lesson learned is don't be afraid to reach out -- take the opportunity to make a difference in someone's life.  Some small comment or action can really make a difference.


My card box is very full of love in the form of wonderful cards, notes and letters from friends and family.  I cherish each and every message.  Each one helped pull me and my family through.


As I've said time and again, I wouldn't wish this club on anyone, but now that I am in it I cherish the membership and what it has brought into my life.


I want to share one last gift with you.  Today I received a Zuni Pueblo animal fetish.  It is a tradition of all Pueblo people to remind us of specific qualities of particular animals that we may find in our selves.  My fetish was a coyote. Not my favorite animal but here is what the Pueblo people say about Coyotes and why it is so apt.


Coyote is called the "trickster" in numerous cultures.  Life, however, is the real trickster and Coyote understands this.  By accepting situations as they are and dealing with the unexpected willingly and eagerly, Coyote survives.  Coyote reminds us that life is unpredictable and uncontrollable and that unexpected occurrences can be viewed as opportunities, not misfortunes.  Coyote's wisdom reminds us to live in the moment and wonder at it all.  


We will indeed, continue to wonder at  it all.

April 14, 2011

Half way there!

We are making headway on the zapping process!  I am over half way there.  I have completed 17 treatments and have 15 more to go.  My doctor told me Tuesday, I only have to do 32 total treatments instead of 35.  So I got the sentence reduced for good behavior I'm sure!

The treatment itself is pretty easy.  I show up at 2:00, they call me in within minutes of arriving.  I put on a lovely pale green gown and jump up on the table.  After lining up my body to the machine with a little pushing and prodding, my position is correct and we are ready to go.  I actually receive 4 separate zaps in 4 locations, so after each one the technician comes in to recalibrate.  It is a little disconcerting to have people coming in and out confirming, "OK we're ready" and leaving you alone while they disappear behind a 12 inch thick lead door!  

It takes maybe 10 minutes, I slather on some lotion, and head out.  The only side effect is skin that looks and feels sunburned, and a little tiredness.  Nothing a little less decolletage and a short nap can't cure! I have managed to make good friends with the valet parking attendants.  Due to construction, space in the lot is extremely limited, but somehow they always leave my car very accessible.  So even though there may be people waiting for their cars, mine arrives first every time!  ( It's amazing what conversing in their native tongue and a $1 tip can do!)  

Everyone is holding up well here.  We just completed 2 weeks of Spring break.  During the first week, Andie caught up on her sleep and Ella spent 5 days in Jackson snowboarding with our friend Betsy.  For the second week, Steve took the girls to New York so Andie could begin the College Tour.  Ella was able to do what every sophisticated girl wants to do in NY, see a Broadway show, eat at expensive restaurants and shop.  Steve got tickets for the girls to see "How to Succeed in Business" with Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame, and he dipped into savings to take the girls to dinner at Il Mulino. Ella got some shopping in with Blossom, Andie's original nanny in NY who we try and get together with the girls each time they are back there.  She returned Wednesday.

Three of the Nine Choices So Far!

Steve and Andie managed to tour nine schools in five and a half days: NYU, Columbia, Yale, Swarthmore, Bard, Brown, MIT, Harvard, and Wesleyan.  Steve needed a vacation by the time they returned.  Andie was also suitcaseless.  (Somehow a hotel gave her bag  to a man heading for Beijing and she got his bag!  I am  sure he looked great in her Uggs and jeans! )  It was a great father-daughter bonding  trip and really helped Andie approach the process of narrowing down which colleges on the East Coast to consider.   (Note to self: get some West Coast schools on her list!)

Harry Shum from Glee, dancing with 5th Graders

While they were gone I managed to keep busy.  I co-chaired the Blue Ribbon's 41st Children's  Festival.  Blue Ribbon invites all the 5th graders in LA to attend a performance at the Music Center.  So for 3 days we herded 18,000 fifth graders through 6 performances. It was amazing.  

For full details check this out: http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-0406-music-center-kids-20110406,0,40218.story

So we're  busy and keeping our heads above water!  Thank you all for all you do for us!

March 25, 2011

Zapped!

The zapping finally started this week!  On Tuesday at 2:00, I began the first of 35 radiation treatments.  It is really incredibly civilized and runs like clockwork.  I have a standing appointment everyday at the same time.  I chose 2:00 because it allows me to get things done in the morning (or putter) have lunch (hopefully with friends) and then go get zapped.  I am home before the kids get home.  For those of you who are good at reading between the lines, you know that means, I get home in time for a quick nap!

The technicians do seem a little over the top with their felt markers.  I have all sorts of lines drawn on my chest!  Then they cover them with tape to protect them from disappearing.  So much for that little strapless number I had planned to wear!

You may wonder why I started on Tuesday instead of Monday.  Well, Steve and I took a little field trip to Sacramento on Monday.  I was honored as Woman of the Year from the 41st Assembly District.  It was an amazing and humbling experience.  Two weeks ago I received a call from Assemblywoman Julia Brownley's office asking how I was doing and when would I start radiation.  I was a little stunned they new so much about my schedule, but became speechless when they told me why they were asking.  Monday, March 21 the State of California would be celebrating the centennial of Women winning the vote in California by honoring one woman from each Assembly District.  Julia was asking me to be her Woman of the Year.  Humbled, dumbstruck, floored.  You name it, I felt it!  

Assemblywoman Julia Brownley and her WOY!

Needless, to say I accepted, postponed radiation by one more day, and flew to Sacramento with Steve.  It was truly an incredible day meeting Julia's staff, other Assembly members and hearing the accomplishments of the 79 other Women of the Year.  My family now refers to me as WOY!


Here is a link to Julia's website so you can see the "official portrait."  I am the one in the middle holding the plaque!!!
http://democrats.assembly.ca.gov/members/a41/Photos/default.aspx


So that's how my first week of radiation went.  I don't know what we will do for an encore.  I am still on Cloud Nine!

March 16, 2011

My Magical Moose

It has been just over 2 weeks since my surgery and I am feeling fine!  I do take a little nap every day (thank you Dad for teaching me the art of napping)! And I do feel little like a Barbie doll with those plastic you-know-whats.  I am sure it will start getting better now that I am back in physical therapy. 

I am feeling so fine, that Steve and I decided to take a quick trip to heaven  (aka Jackson!) for a little R&R before radiation. There's something about Jackson that brings us peace and comfort. We had no real plans.  Steve did some skiing while I puttered.  (Puttering is the ultimate relaxation for me.)  The one big plan that was realized -- seeing my moose.  There is something magical about moose for me.  They are incredibly gangly and awkward.  But they have incredibly soulful eyes.  I will drive miles out of my way to see a moose, just ask my kids!

On Saturday, our dear neighbors  called to report a moose in their yard.  Try as I might, I couldn't see him.  And as much as I wanted my moose, I wasn't going to post hole through 5 feet of snow to find a view point!  On Sunday, as I was trying to sleep in.  Steve called from the living room "Look out the window, a moose!"  I leaped out of bed grabbing for my glasses and camera.  Low and behold, a moose, MY moose, right there in our little pond!  This moose was in no hurry to go anywhere.  He just nibbled on our willows, then bedded down in a snow bank.  This went on for hours. I know because I planted myself in the living room and watched!  I didn't even have to go looking -- the moose came to me!  

Almost as exciting as the moose I went for  my first post-surgery walk with "the girls."  No I don't mean my new breasts, I mean my neighbors, Jean, Sally and Carol!  It was a gorgeous sunny day.  The view was breathtaking.  Thirty minutes of exercise for the body yields infinite value for the soul!

The last thing I want to mention about our trip is the wine.  On two successive nights we had a favorite red, Shafer's Relentless.   There's just something about that name that keeps us going.  Relentless describes so many things right now: the relentless support of my family and friends, the relentless determination to fight, and the relentless optimism we all share.






I relentlessly love you all,

February 27, 2011

A Slight Change in Plans!

Valentine’s Day brought us a little change in plans. In fact, within hours after I hit “send” with my update, we had a three-way Doctor confab and decided to postpone radiation for 3 weeks and do a little surgery instead.  It is really a good thing.  I had surgery, Thursday, February 24, to replace those @#*&ing (pardon my own little oscar F bomb) expanders with permanent implants.  I am recovering nicely at home.

When I was at my plastic surgery appointment on Valentine’s Day, Dr. DaLio mentioned it would be great if we had three more weeks, so we could get the implants in and be done with surgery now.  The alternative was keeping the expanders in until Fall.  Just hearing the word, Fall, got my engines going and we got on the phone to the radiologist and oncologist.  After that first call it was decided to  just leave the schedule as it was since we were ready to start Wednesday.  Well, you all know me, and the die had been cast, the line had been set, the eggs were cooling, the fat lady had sung . . .  I had a bee in my bonnet now about the thought of being DONE with surgery so I went into Advertising Account Executive mode as only I can.  Following some further social networking among my oncologist, radiologist and plastic surgeon, and guess what? Now, they were all in agreement there was no risk in postponing radiation, and in fact, the outcome will most likely be better radiating with implants rather than the expanders.  So we went full speed ahead with the change in plans.
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One of the reasons I chose Dr. Da Lio is that he has access to cohesive  breast implants, better known as gummy bear implants.  They are approved in Europe and Canada, but remain under study by the FDA.  They are shaped in a more anatomically correct fashion than standard silicone or saline implants, don’t leak when cut and will, most likely, have less scar tissue build up after radiation.  UCLA is part of a clinical study so I just needed to fill out a little paperwork and we were good to go.  The little paper work turned out to be three legal documents so I had my attorney, Mr. Grossman, go over them with his fine tooth comb.  Then, there were two 10 page questionnaires with unusual questions about lifestyle and reasons for the implants  including “on a scale of 1 to 10 will gummy bears improve my dating life”  and "on a scale 1 to 10 how is my health" — I chose excellent, of course!.   Once the paperwork was completed, Dr. DaLio wanted to be sure we were completely comfortable with the gummy bears so he very generously offered Steve the opportunity to feel the implants “in situ.”   While Steve was grateful for the offer, he politely declined, even though the Dr. insisted it was a “really great patient who wouldn’t mind.”

To hear more about these gummy bears click here for a quick take by Maura Tierney on Ellen DeGeneres.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlpIMlR1P5U    Very funny!

So that is how we came to postpone radiation and have surgery.  It’s now 3 days since surgery and I am doing really well.  Just 2 drains this time!  Steve, Ella and Cody gave me a little rest today and even returned from Malibu with a banana milkshake for me (which goes well with gummy bears)!

Thank you to everyone who has called and emailed to see how my zapping is going.  It will most likely start mid March.  Thanks for all your positive thoughts. We are acceptng visitors so give us a holler and came by

February 14, 2011

Happy Valentines Day!

This is an especially auspicious Valentine’s Day!  We are sending tons of heartfelt hugs to all of you who have been such pillars of strength and support for us!

Cupid is shooting this Valentines wish with his trusty bow and arrow as I prepare to get the last round from that healing quiver.  I start radiation this week.  I will go in every day at 2:00 for the next 7 weeks to get zapped.  They put 4 tiny little tattoos on my chest to make it very easy to find the right spot each time.  There goes my righteous stand against tattoos!  The side effects from radiation are supposed to be nothing like chemo — a little redness and a little more tired — but that’s it.

None of you will be surprised to hear, my doctors’ reminders that my recovery from surgery has been swift has fallen on deaf impatient ears.    I want to be back on that tennis court, or at least able to put my hands over my head!  And I am chafing at having to ask for help to reach that top shelf in the grocery store!

I was forbidden to work out for the first 4 weeks following surgery, but now it’s full speed ahead.  I actually went to the gym today.  I am working with a trainer to get a program going to improve my overall strength and energy, and also to increase the range of motion in my arms.  It felt great, but I am wondering how I will feel tomorrow!!

We are sending lots of love back to each of you.  If it does not feel quite as strong, it is only because I cannot yet pull back the bow with full strength!